Doubts
by Pepite
Summary: Danny and Lindsay are settled in their realtionship. Come and get a glimpse of the inner trouble of the couple. "No spoiler for S4 or S5" .AU. R
1. Doubts

Hey My second Fanfic ) Yup and it's a stand alone this time )

Disclaimer : I don't own them ! yeah i know this world sucks lol

Read and Reviews

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Lindsay was laying in her bed, she heard the shower stop, she waited for the door to open and that her husband arrived wet and half naked in the bedroom. 

She turned to lie on her left side and stared cautiously waiting for him, few seconds after he arrived. His bare feet were leaving wet footprints on the floor.

"You should have dried your feet." she said.

"Yep, I should have" he said laying down beside her.

She turned to face him, he was in his tight boxers, and she placed her hands on his chest making small circles on his abs while he was watching the ceiling.

"Are we ready for this?" he asked taking her hand into his and tracing the thin golden ring around her finger.

"Danny, don't worry. Everything is well organised."

"Lindsay, I'm talking about us. Are we ready?"

"We will be in five and a half months."

"I never imagined that we would be here after 14 months together."

"It's your fault" she said with a huge grin on her face.

"What should have I done? Stay there, waiting for someone to do it instead of me?"

He said while he began to tickle her, she moaned and laughed.

"Danny, don't….. stop ….." she said squirming and hugging her belly.

"Stop, she moved" she said.

Danny stopped immediately and put his hands on top of hers on her huge belly.

And he felt it, the small kick of his baby, he looked up at her and kissed her.

He had tearful eyes, "I love you" he said kissing her and then kissing her belly. She put her hands in his hair and massaged his scalp "I love you, too."

A moment later he stood up, but saw that something seemed to be bothering Lindsay. He lay down beside her again, she moved and placed her head on his chest and her hand on her belly upon his.

"What's wrong , Lindsay?"

"I'm afraid we're not ready for this, we should have taken more precaution. I should have been on the pill, now you are forced to stay with me because I'm pregnant, because of me our relationship has rushed into something we aren't ready for."

"Lindsay, I am with you because I love you, and I love our baby, and nobody is ready to be parents. But when I see you I know you will be a prefect mother." He said stroking her belly.

"It's normal to be afraid. I am afraid, too, but I know it will be ok."

He caressed her cheek with his thumb drying the tears.

"Now you have to sleep. Tomorrow we have an appointment with the Ob/Gyn."

Danny woke up by the buzzing of his alarm, he set it off and looked at the sleeping form beside him. He put his hand on her belly, which held his baby.

He nuzzled her messy hair and kissed her ear to wake her up, he whispered sweet words into it. She moaned and turned to face him, he kissed her nose and slipped his arm around her waist to close the gap between them, her huge belly pressing against his abs.

He kissed her and looked into her sleepy yet gorgeous eyes . "We have to be ready in one hour, Linds" he said kissing her nose while stroking the side of her belly.

"Mmmmm."

"Yeah, I know you want to sleep, and I want to stay here in bed with you and the bump, but unfortunately we have to go to work."

"Ok, I get up, but you have to help me."

He got on his feet and helped her out of the bed.

Danny was very caring of Lindsay's and the baby's healths.When Lindsay had found out she was pregnant, she was very happy because she had always wanted to be a mother, but she was also afraid that Danny didn't want to be a dad and to have a baby with her. She had hidden it from him.

Flashback

"Hey, man" Flack said patting Danny on his shoulder.

"Hey, bro, what's new? You're working with Lindsay, aren't you?"

"Yeah sure. Oh, I have something to ask you."

"Yeah, spill."

"Is it just me or does Lindsay have bigger breasts?" Don asked calmly.

"Man you're looking at the breasts of my girlfriend!" Danny said with his thick New York accent.

"No…. sorry it's just, it seems obvious." Don said.

"Don't say anything, because I might hurt you" Danny said leaving Don in the middle of the lab hall.

"Don, earth to Don" Lindsay called waiting for Don to land.

"Sorry" he said looking back at her "You were saying something?"

"Yep, I found an ID for the prints on our vic's arm, and I even have his address."

"Let's go Lady" he said checking her breasts a last time and making a mental note.

Don and Lindsay arrived at the flat where their suspect was living, Lindsay knocked on the door and waited.

A man opened the door and when Flack showed him his badge, he pushed them and ran into the hall. Lindsay ran after him and went down the stairs, after few seconds she had caught up to him, Don was running behind them, but not as fast as her.

Before she could react or get away from his grip the suspect took her arm and pushed her, she fell down the stairs. Don was in shock. He didn't think twice, took his gun and shot into the leg of the man who then fell to the ground, wincing in pain. Don cuffed him and went to Lindsay, he searched for a pulse and found a weak one, he called the paramedics and waited, checking every minute how Lindsay was, blood was oozing from her head.

Lindsay fell and then everything was black, she was thinking about Danny, and the baby. She should have told him. She felt Flack's hands on her wrist but couldn't open her eyes. She was too tired, she just wanted to sleep, to forget the problems in her life. She wanted to sleep and find peace and not be torn between what she wanted and what she couldn't tell.

TBC...

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So what do you think of it ? 

Do you hear the voice of the "Go" button he is calling you )


	2. Hurt

Hi,

I wrote this chapter sunday along with Cahpter 3 but you will have to wait to have it because i didn't wrote Chapter 4 yet and i want to have one in stock )

So Enjoy and don't forget reviews

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Chapter 2 

Flack began to get into a panic about Lindsay, who wasn't answering. He saw her eyes closing slowly, he couldn't let his best friend's girlfriend die in his arms.

"Lindsay!"

"Lindsay, stay with me" he said pushing a strand of her hair out of her face, the blood was oozing on the floor, forming a pool on it.

Don was slightly relieved when he finally heard the sirens of the ambulance, but still worrying about Lindsay's health.

Three paramedics arrived, they took care of the unconscious Lindsay, and also of the perp who was bleeding from the shot in his leg.

Don was trying to call Danny but he wasn't answering at his office. He called his cell phone knowing that Danny was at a scene.

"Messer"

"Danny, it's Don" Don said trying to sound the least afraid he could.

"Yeah, whadoya want?" Danny asked, still having in mind what Don had said earlier.

"Danny, something happened at the scene … Lindsay 's been hurt."

"What? How? How is she?" Danny asked trying to elaborate what was going on in his mind right now, but it was almost impossible.

"Danny, calm down. The paramedics are taking care of her, the suspect pushed her and she... she fell down the stairs."

"How is she? Where are the paramedics taking her?" his voice cracked a bit, his emotions were coming through.

He couldn't lose her, it was this particular thing he was afraid of in relationships: To be hurt. He had always protected his heart from falling in love with someone, for fear of suffering if she was hurt, if he lost her.

But Lindsay had reached his heart, he had put his guard down and now she was hurt, and he was, too, for the same reason.

"She has a head trauma, she is bleeding. She is unconscious, and I can't tell if she's going to be alright, I can't lie to you, Danny. The EMTs took her to the Mercy Hospital, I'm staying with her Danny, don't worry."

"I'm gonna tell Mac and Hawkes, they have to let me go to see her, Don" he said hanging up.

Danny was frightened, tears were on his cheeks. Lindsay was seriously hurt, not just almost hurt. She was, and he was so afraid he was going to loose her, there were a lot of things he hadn't told her yet. He hadn't told her how much he loved her this morning.

"Danny, what's wrong?" Mac asked looking at his young CSI.

"Lindsay … She's been hurt, the EMTs took her to the hospital, Don couldn't say if she is going to make it." He said trying to dry his cheeks with his hand, when new tears were already forming in his eyes again.

"Go to the hospital, Danny." Mac said hugging Danny and comforting him by saying she was going to be alright.

Danny drove fast, he parked the car and ran into the hospital where a year earlier Louie had been in the coma, where Stella had been after her assault, and Don, after the bombing. And now it was Lindsay.

He asked everyone at the hospital if they had heard about a detective Monroe beeing brought here after an accident at a scene, when finally a nurse told him that she was in surgery and that he had to wait. She showed him the way to the waiting room, where Danny found Don pacing in the room.

"Danny, you're here." He said taking his friend in his arms and hugging him.

"Where is she? How is she?"

"They took her to surgery, she had a trauma and a swelling in the brain. She's also got a broken ankle."

"She's gonna make it" Danny said, more as a question than a statement, since he wasn't sure of anything now. He was just lost in his thoughts and feelings.

"Yes, Danny, she's strong. The doctor was optimistic when he took her to surgery."

TBC...

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R&Rs 


	3. Processing

Hey I've got the chapter 4 in store so

first I put the 3rd , then i will have to write the 5th and then i will post the 4th to have one everytime in stock )

R&Rs thanks everybody my beta-readers.. people who let Reviews and people who read it ; thanks you make my day )

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Chapter 3

3 hours later (in the flashback)

Danny and Don were in the waiting room. Danny had his elbows on his lap and his head in his hands.

"Detective Flack, I'm Dr. Bill Hall, I'm the surgeon who took care of your partner" a tall, middle-aged man said as he entered the room.

Danny immediately got up, his fear written all over his face.

"How is she?" Danny asked.

The doctor looked at him slightly surprised, then he looked back at Flack.

"He is Detective Monroe's boyfriend."

"When Detective Monroe arrived here, she had a head trauma, we stopped the bleeding. We mended her fracture, she's going to have a cast, she's got a concussion and she is still unconscious, but she is going to be alright, they are taking her to the ICU unit."

"Thanks" Danny said releasing all his emotion, tears streaming down his face. Don patted Danny's shoulder to give him support.

"Can I go see her?"

"Yes sir, follow me."

Don went outside to call everyone, while Danny entered Lindsay's room. He sat down next to her and watched her sleeping. He was still crying, he could have lost her today. He took her hand in his, stroking her palm, then kissing it. He put his head next to her other hand on the bed, listening to the hypnotizing sound monitoring Lindsay's heart beat.

Lindsay slowly opened her eyes, the light was hurting her. She had a huge headache as if a truck had driven over her head, but the pain that she had felt before in her feet had disappeared.

She began to realise that she was in the hospital, and that the pain had disappeared because of the IV in her arm, _most probably pain killer_,she thought to herself.

She looked at the sleepy form on the other side of the bed and saw that Danny was there, dozing. She wiped his tears off and then moved her wet fingers to his hair.

Danny felt that she was moving, someone's hand was in his hair, he looked up at Lindsay and saw that she was awake.

"Hey." He said, his voice just above a whisper, he didn't trust his voice to say anything else. He got up and kissed her head pushing away the strand of hair that was on her face.

"Danny", she said the tears falling form her eyes, thinking of the baby she had carried before, but now probably lost. She began to sob, so Danny took her in his arms comforting her.

"It's ok, Lindsay, you're here, I'm here, everything is ok." He said rubbing her back.

They stayed in each other's arms for a long moment, Lindsay couldn't tell Danny about the baby, and it didn't matter anymore. The doctor arrived and cleared his throat to get the couple's attention.

"Hi, Detective Monroe, I'm Doctor Hall. I was your surgeon."

"Hi, call me Lindsay."

"Ok, when Detective Flack brought you here you were bleeding from the head, and your ankle was broken. We're going to put a cast on as soon as the swelling eases off. You have a concussion and you will have to take it easy for a while, but I think that your boyfriend is going to take good care of you." Lindsay smiled at the doctor but then immediately thought about the baby. The doctor saw the change in her face.

"However, you are alright but we can't say the same about your baby. It isn't out of the woods yet. We need to monitor its heart rate and watch its health."

Lindsay had tears in her eyes while Danny was processing what he had just heard, the Doctor left.

TBC ..

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What's going to happend? Give your ideas in the reviews and tell me what you think about it .

Love. Thanks.

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	4. Crying

Hey , I'm back with Chapter 4 ) sorry for the delay . I'm haven't write the chapter 5 yet sorry but you will have to wait a little bit.

Thanks everybody who post a review and who read

Thanks Shizukuchan and Snowbear96 ;)

Enjoy ;)

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Chapter 4 

Lindsay couldn't stop the tears from falling, she was worried about how Danny was going to react about what she had hidden it from him. She wished she had told him instead of lying to him.

She cried because of the baby that a few days ago she had wished wasn't there, and now she was going to lose it, but she didn't want that to happen anymore .

"Lindsay, you're pregnant, aren't you?" he asked, his voice was very gentle.

Lindsay nodded looking down, not trusting her voice.

"Hey Linds, look at me." He said placing his hand under her chin to make her look up at him. When she did he saw her eyes where new tears were forming and imminent to fall.

"I'm sorry" she said bursting into tears and sobbing, Danny took her in his arms letting her release all her emotions.

**Lindsay is pregnant - why didn't she tell me about it? Was she fearing my reaction? Does she think that I don't want a baby?**

She mumbled in his shirt, she apologized over and over again until Danny pulled her away to look at her.

"Lindsay, why didn't you tell me about your pregnancy?"

"I didn't want to be a burden, Danny. And here I am pregnant with your baby which you didn't ask for."

"Lindsay, I love you and I wanted to have a lot of babies with you, trust me." He said drying her cheeks with his thumbs. He leaned on her and kissed her forehead "I want this baby, Linds" he said pushing her messy hair behind her ear.

"I do, too" she said throwing herself in his arms hugging him and crying. He rocked her for ten minutes while her sobs were easing off.

"Now you should rest, you need it and our baby too." he said placing his hand on her lower stomach while she laid down into the hospital bed "I'll be back in a sec, I need a cup of coffee", he said kissing her forehead. Danny went outside and let all his emotions out, he cried, he didn't know why, but he had to.

The woman he loved had almost died. She was pregnant, but the baby wasn't quite out of the woods yet. He didn't want to lose his baby, even though he found out only half an hour ago that he was going to be a dad, he didn't want to lose it, not his baby, not the outcome of his love for Lindsay.

He went to the coffee machine and when it didn't seem to work he hit it with his fists and his feet.

"Danny, calm down.. Hey" Don said calming his best friend with his hand on his shoulder.

"How is Lindsay?" he asked looking at Danny's red puffy eyes.

"She's fine, but the baby…she's pregnant ... The doctor can't confirm on the baby's health yet" he said tears running down his cheeks.

Don didn't know what to do or say to his friend, he was surprised by Danny's behaviour, how he had changed since the beginning of his relationship with Lindsay.

"You should go to her Danny, she needs you. They need you."

"First I need to fix my caffeine level", he said his accent getting thicker.

"I'll take care of that, Bro", he said patting Danny's shoulder, "Go."

"Thanks", Danny said with a weak smile, leaving.

"Hey, I'm back, without coffee running through my veins." He said gently, sitting down on the side of the bed'. Lindsay had her back towards him, she watched the light from outside the windows.

She felt him sitting on the bed but didn't turn around. Danny could say she was crying.

"Lindsay, why are you crying?"

She didn't answer, so he got up and sat down in a chair in front of Lindsay, taking her hand in his.

"Hey honey" Danny said tracing the thin line of her jaw, and then cupping her face.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"Hey Lindsay, it's ok " he said placing kisses on her forehead.

"I…I don't ….want to lose the baby. I had wished I wasn't pregnant but now I want .. to have this baby." She said her voice trembling.

"Me too, Lindsay, I want our baby, and we're not going to lose it."

Danny climbed into the bed after taking off his shoes and took Lindsay in his arms, his arms wrapping around her waist.

TBC...

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So what's coming next ... I want to know what you think will be happening ( for my part I already know lol) and what you think about it. R&Rs 

thanks


	5. Coffee

_Hi, I'm back with Doubts 5 it's a little fluffy in this one but don't worry I don't forget the plot( there's a plot ? lol) nor the Angst ._

_Hope to get reviews telling me what isn't working , what you think about it, don't forget that no reviews is no chapters because I need you all you're a part of my Muse. I was slightly dissapointed to have lost a lot of reviewers on FF&FL, I will have prefer for them to say it wasn't going in the right way, or that was bad instead of just leaving._

_Thanks to my reviewers, my counsellors ( ) Snowbear96, ShizukuChan) ._

_Make this story continue, post a reviews ) _

_A/n : Definitely not mine, I wish I could possess a part of the cast ( Carmine,Gary, Eddie, Hill,), but well CBS own them so I'm just playing  
_

_ Heres comes your coffee!!!_

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Don knocked on the door but no-one answered. He decided to push the door open; he found Lindsay asleep in Danny's arms.

"Hey," Don whispered, "I brought your coffee."

"Thanks, bro," Danny answered keeping his voice low.

"How is she," Don asked sitting on a chair next to the bed; he gave Danny his coffee.

"She is ok. Afraid about the baby's health, but so am I."

"Yeah don't worry, everything is gonna be alright. She is stubborn, you're a real pain in the ass, your baby is going to be fine, it just likes to play with your nerves," Don said making Danny smile. Danny looked at his friend after caressing Lindsay's hair, and he had the Messer smirk on his face.

"Our baby... I'm going to be a dad."

"You're going to be a dad. I can't believe that bro, I remember the time you were playing and having just one night stands. I never could have imagined you would fall in love with Miss Lindsay Monroe, or that you would know about love and cuddling and never even about diapers. If someone had said that to me two years ago I think that Aiden and me would have killed ourselves laughing."

"I heard that one," a sleepy voice said. Danny looked down at Lindsay, she was smiling at him and kissed him. Danny smiled at Don.

"Lindsay, you freak me out, don't do that again," Don said gently taking her hand in his.

"Yep, I will try," she said, but the tears came back to her eyes, she couldn't help it.

Danny kissed Lindsay's temple while Don was telling her what had happened.

The doctor entered the room and asked Don to leave for a moment.

"Lindsay, Danny, I will come back later, ok?"

"Yep sure, thanks Don."

"You're welcome."

Don left and the Doctor began to examine Lindsay to be sure she was alright with the shock and her concussion. Then he checked on the baby, its heart which had been monitored seemed ok, but nothing was sure for the moment.

Danny and Lindsay waited for the doctor to leave to begin to talk about it.

"We're going to have a baby."

"Danny, don't say that if we lose it."

"We won't, because you're strong enough, and even if we lose the baby, we will try to have another one."

"You really want a baby?"

"Yep, I want tons of babies, I can picture them running around, me teaching them to play baseball, and you teaching them to ride horses."

She giggled; she wanted it all, he was picturing what all little girls dreamed about.

"How many babies you want?" She asked him turning her head to face him, he kissed her nose.

"Well, I wanted five little Montanas and four boys," he said proudly.

Lindsay 's eyes went wide open.

"Uh, no way, Messer, I'm not having nine babies! For you it's very easy and pleasurable but for me it's the opposite," she said enfacing all her words with a finger in his chest.

"I know, I was joking. But true, for me it's very pleasurable, to make love to you, a person who is so incredibly beautiful and kind and sexy," he said whispering the words into her ear.

"So, how many," she asked not letting herself in his seduction.

"Two or three, a girl and a boy and maybe another girl."

"That seems more do-able for my body," she said and a super watt smile appeared on her face.

"Now you should rest and if you want I'll stay with you, ok?" he said kissing her head.

"Yes, stay with me, if you are here I will find sleep," she said letting herself relax in his arms.

TBC ???

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_Reviews, please. _


	6. Pain

Sorry take me long to update and I think that the other one will be too, because i haven't write them...I had exams and so didn't have the time to write but now My muse is free again let's hope that it's getting me somewhere.

Thanks to the usual person , who help me write this stuff Shizukushan, snowbear 96 and to people who review ... chilipeppers, oddie ... evryone who are reviewing !!!

Reviews please

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Lindsay woke up the next day in the hospital bed, she wanted to go away from that medical scent and to wear something other than that hospital gown, she wanted to go home with Danny and relax with him. When she woke up she wasn't in Danny's arms anymore, so she looked around and found Sheldon next to her, with her hand in his, he was stroking her palm.

"Hey sleeping beauty, your prince went to the cafeteria to have some coffee, don't worry."

"Thanks Sheldon," she said not trusting her voice to say anything else.

"How are you feeling," he asked.

"I don't know… I don't know," she said between sobs.

"Lindsay, you have to calm down, it's not good for you … and the baby, look at me Lindsay, Lindsay," she looked up at him, tears were falling down wetting her hospital gown.

"Danny … Danny told you," she asked without knowing herself if it was a statement or a question.

"Yes he did… Lindsay, look at me; you have to relax because, I don't want to sound like a doctor but I'm going to explain something to you."

Lindsay only nodded, Sheldon dried her tears with his thumb in a brotherly move.

"Your baby is protected by the placenta, when you fell you got a big shock to your head but fortunately your baby wasn't harmed. I can't promise that you can't lose your baby, look at me Lindsay, but the stress you're putting yourself into is much worse for the baby. So calm down, I know it's hard, but trust me Lindsay."

"Yeah, can you stay with us, please?"

"Ok, but if Mac calls I will have to leave."

"Right," she said tightening her hand around his.

Danny came back after having called Mac and asked for a week off to take care of Lindsay. Mac was ok with it, because with a concussion he knew that Lindsay couldn't and shouldn't stay alone.

"Hey," he said sitting just beside her on the bed facing Sheldon.

"You feeling better," he asked kissing her forehead.

"Not really," Danny and Sheldon looked at her, "my back hurts, but it's because of the fall."

They started laughing about all kinds of things, about Sid rambling when he was "necking" a corpse and that Stella had believed he was kissing it, about Adam's rambling on everything and how he was shy and couldn't make a move on girls. Danny talked about the fact that Adam had once dated a Suicide Girl and that she had broken his heart. Anything that could entertain Lindsay.

And it was working, she had her smile back and her lightening mood too. She was trying to get over the fact that her baby wasn't ok right now, she was trying to be relished in the moment with her new family in NYC, with her wonderful boyfriend, and she slowly forgot what could happen to the baby .

But fate had decided otherwise.

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Lindsay suddenly felt a sharp pain in her lower back and then in her lower stomach, she screamed in pain and the two men looked at her. She clutched her stomach with her arms. Danny didn't know how to react, he couldn't find the words, he was in shock.

"Lindsay, calm down," Sheldon said.

"It hurts, my baby, I don't want to lose it," she said her voice cracking.

Danny went by her side, pushing away her hair which was stuck on her forehead because of the sweat. Sheldon went outside and searched for a doctor.

"Linds, it's going to be ok," he said to her, he kissed her temple and rocked her back.

"Danny, my water broke, I'm losing the baby," she said the tears running down her cheeks.

Danny looked under the cover, taking it up from the bed end and saw between Lindsay's bent knees a small pool of blood forming.

Danny didn't know what to do, Lindsay's pain disappeared slowly and she looked at his scared face.

"Danny? What's wrong," she said between her breaths.

"You are bleeding…" he said taking her hand in his, entwining her fingers .

The doctor came and asked Sheldon to leave them alone for the examination.

Sheldon went by Lindsay's side, kissed her forehead and he whispered to her, "don't lose hope, Linds." A nurse arrived and Sheldon left.

"Carol, I need you to take her pulse, her blood strain and her temperature."

"Yes, Doctor," she said beginning to take Lindsay's pulse and everything on the chart.

"Lindsay, I'm going to do an abdomen palpation. Do you feel any pain again, any contractions?"

"No, just the one long and sharp pain, it began with pain in my back but I thought it was just because of the fall, and I have nausea too," she said crying.

Danny put down the covers and pushed up Lindsay's gown baring her stomach, and then he sat on the chair next to Lindsay and took her hand kissing it.

The doctor put his hands on her abdomen and began the exam.

"Lindsay, do you feel pain when I press there?" Lindsay shook her head.

"Ok," he said.

"Lindsay, I'm going to do the vaginal exam now," he said. 

Lindsay nodded and settled herself in the position which allowed the doctor to do the exam.

Danny was still at her side, she was clutching his hand tightly. He whispered soft words into her ear. "I'm proud of you, Lindsay, you're doing fine," and with that he kissed her temple.

When the exam was over the Doctor took off his bloody gloves, he nodded to the nurse and left the room.

"What does that mean?" asked Danny .

"The Doctor will bring his conclusion later, a nurse is going to come here in a second to change the sheets."

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TBC...??? 

Advice,and what you think in the review ...SO review...

thanks


	7. Fist and Wall

Hey here it comes... I'm tired and sick :)Hope you like it

Thanks to my beta-readers and friends ( sorry i won't type the name today, too tired and in pain )

Reviews :) please oh and your death threats make me laugh :)

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Chapter 7

Lindsay wasn't able to stop crying. Danny was just there, helpless; he couldn't do anything, just watch her fight against the exhaustion, fight against everything. She was desperately trying to keep a life inside her that was trying to bleed away. She wanted to have this baby, Danny, too. She had to fight for them.

When the nurses came in, they gave Lindsay some sleeping pills, which wouldn't harm her baby. _But who cares? Maybe it's too late_, she thought to herself. They changed the sheets, and when they left Danny took off his shoes and his glasses and went in the bed. Cuddling with Lindsay, he cried, watching Lindsay like that, once again weak, once again fighting. He felt sick. It had been a roller coaster of emotions these last few days, and he just wanted to go home with her, away from the pain and the sorrow.

Lindsay was asleep, but Danny could read her features: she was fighting inside. He traced her soft lips and her nose with his finger while his other arm went around her waist, his hands resting on their baby. He couldn't stop the tears from falling. He had to be strong for them, but now that she was asleep and he was able to let go of everything.

Crying didn't help him; the anger, frustration, everything wouldn't come out. He climbed slowly off the bed, attempting not to wake her up.

He went outside the hospital room, tears streaming down his face, the cool air sending shivers through her. He was in the hall, watching the buzzing of the street at the beginning of afternoon. He was fuming. He turned and, with all his strength, punched the wall. His anger had not gone away, but he kind of satisfied, and that relieved him. He wanted to kill the guy who had pushed her on the stairs, the bastard. _You could have killed her. _He had put his baby's life in danger. The feeling was soon replaced by a pain; his hand was bleeding, but he didn't care. The leaned against the wall, letting his back rest on it, and the sorrow went through him again. He slid down the wall, sitting on the pavement, sobs racking through him.

He didn't know how many minutes he had been crying, but someone was talking to him. Danny looked up, and when he saw the person he immediately got up and looked at her. No words, just staring at each other, the intensity in her eyes went through him and he couldn't hold the tears again. She hugged him.

"It's going to be okay, kiddo," she said while he was in her arms. When they broke away, Stella looked into Danny's eyes and she could see all his suffering.

"What am I going to do, Stel? I'm watching the love of my life almost dying of pain, watching my baby die, and I can't do anything. I'm trying to be strong for both of us, but I can't. I can't, I just can't, Stella. My heart is shattering piece by piece when I see her like that."

Stella hugged him, and she felt that Danny was crying uncontrollably. The young couple had been put through so much. When the broke away, Stella realized the damage to Danny's hand.

"Danny, did you do that?"

"Yeah, I did," he admitted sheepishly.

"Come here. We're going to get that hand examined."

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post reviews you guys please to make me feel better )) 


	8. ER visit

_Hey I'm back sorry it took me forever to update but I wanted to finsih my story What if and To do a oneshot ..._

_SO here Am I for Drama , angst and Romance!_

_Thanks to Kathy To have beta it Love the way you beta I can clearly see where i made my mistakes and I hope this will improve my english._

_Thanks to my reviewers!!! and my friends!!!_

_A/N: LOVE the season FINALE !!!!!! Everything was perfect !!_

_This chapter is about Stella and Danny no Lindsay for now _

_R&Rs_

_Edit: Thanks rejo for your PM, I didn't notice !!! _

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Doubts 8

Stella and Danny went through triage and Stella had to show her NYPD badge for the nurse to get them to an exam room and immediately get a doctor.

Danny didn't say a word, he was still raging inside, against himself for being such a moron , for not being there and against the guy who had done that to her.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Wayne. What seems to be the problem?"

"My partner here injured his hand," Stella said pointing with one hand to Danny sitting on the exam while showing her badge with the other.

Danny just looked away trying to avoid his –oh-so-mother-like Boss.

"Ok, let me take a look at what you've done." Dr. Wayne said as he gently took danny's hand to look at the injury "This looks really bad, what did you do?"

"He.." Stella began to said, before Danny cut her off.

"I punch a wall" he admitted, the doctor looked at them strangely.

But Stella continued "… instead of taking off the guy's head who pushed down and hurt his partner, who just happens to be his girlfriend.

"Oh is she the nice young detective who was brought in earlier with a concussion and a broken ankle?" he asked.

"Yes she is." Stella answered patting Danny's shoulder and looking at him.

She sat on the bed next to Danny and watched the doctor begin the exam.

"Does this hurt?" he asked Danny while gently probing his hand. "Try and move you fingers."

"Yeah, like hell and I can't move my fingers."

"I think …I think I might have broken it." he said sheepishly.

"I think you have a boxer fracture. I'll clean the wound then have a nurse take you to get an X-ray."

'I can't , I have to go back to my girlfriend, she needs me right now" he said getting up, Stella pushed him back on the bed.

"You're staying here, you're going to have this X-ray, the damage has to be repaired now, we can't afford to to have one of New York's finest lose the use of a hand."

Danny looked down he felt like a child being ground by his mother.

"Danny look at me, I'm not saying that what you did was wrong, it might be a little stupid but what you and Lindsay are going through is hell, but you have to stay strong for you're family"

"My family" he repeated.

"Yes you're going to have a baby no matter what Danny. If you loose this, one, promise me that you WON'T let your couple fall apart." She said

"I'm afraid, Stel," he said cursing himself for breaking down again "I just wished it didn't happened." he said tears running down his face.

"Yes, but it did and that's going to make you a stronger couple."

"Don't worry Danny I'm going to go join Lindsay, so she won't be alone and I called you when she woke up, right?"

"Right, tell her that I love her, don't tell her about this." He said showing his broken hand sheepishly.

"Ok" Stella said then kissed his cheek and let him alone with the doc who had finished cleaning his hand , and had finally found a nurse to take Danny to X ray. 

_TBC... _

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R&Rs please need to know what you think and where do you want it to go 


	9. Anger and Patience

here it is the new chapter of doubts... sorry for delay ... RL got in the way ...

Hope you will like this new chapter , if not Reviews to tell me what's wrong. you can review even if nothing is wrong big smile

thanks to **liabelle **who beta it, thanks so much

thanks to **snowbear96**, and **dine7184** my close friends :)

don't forget to review :)

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Danny finally got out of the rooms the nurse and doctors had led him to.

They had put a cast on his wrist and hand, which were broken.

He ran to Lindsay as soon as they let him alone, without caring if he had any report to file in. He didn't care because right now is girl was waiting and biting her nails off because they might lose their baby, because if they really searched for him, they would find him in the hospital which would be his home for a few days, until they released Lindsay.

He ran up the stairs, not being patient enough to wait for the elevator and the many people in there, who had asked for other levels than him.

He arrived in the room, Lindsay was in, and Stella looked up at him from the place she was sitting, just next Lindsay's bed. Lindsay was asleep, and Danny presumed they had given her once again sedative because she was too agitated for her own safety and the baby's.

Stella got up and went to hug Danny, she knew he needed it, when she had Danny in her arms she felt him tense and soon he was crying and letting go of everything.

"Shhh, Danny it's gonna be ok"

After few minutes, Danny had calmed and he looked up at Stella and mouthed thanks to her. She patted his back and he sat next to Lindsay taking the chairs Stella was in before.

He took her hand and kissed it.

"So, you're hand?" Stella asked.

Danny looked up at her, Lindsay's hand still against his lips, " Broken," he answered her, "I'm so stupid, I broke my hand against a wall instead of being there for Lindsay."

"Danny, don't think about that. We all have our weak moment and right now what is important is that you are here for Lindsay."

"When is she gonna wake up?" Danny asked, looking at Lindsay who was peacefully sleeping.

"Soon, Danny they sent her out for 3 hours…" she looked at Lindsay "but she's better like that sleeping without being worried about the baby's health." She said slowly

"When will this fucking doctor come to tell us? Huh?" Danny asked angry but his voice soon died hen he felt that Lindsay had squeezed his hand.

"Honey you're ok?" he asked, getting up and standing by her side, placing his hands in her soft but messy curls. Her eyes began to become tearful and Danny kissed her nose.

"Lindsay, everything is gonna be okay." He said whispering he didn't knew if he was very persuasive because he had difficulty to trust himself.

"How can you say that, Danny it's been like a whole day and they still haven't given the results?" she said, crying.

Stella looked at the couple and her heart broke how could this happened how could they not find finally happiness, why everything was always drama, angst, and death?

Stella soon felt her anger rising in her how could the doctors let Lindsay suffer not knowing if she was going to lose her baby. Stella felt that she had something to do; she had to help the couple. She left the room in a hurry and Danny and Lindsay looked at Stella's frame walking on the other side of the windows. Danny kissed Lindsay's temple and settled in the bed next to her and they cuddled, holding onto each other. Danny took Lindsay's hand with his and settled them on her belly.

And soon they could hear Stella's distinct voice, in the hall, speaking loudly and sounding.

"How could you leave them hanging like that, they are freaking out about their baby's health and you didn't deliver them the health check because it got lost for a time, are you kidding with me? You're playing with my head right?" she said her voice getting higher and higher. When the doctor arrived in the room he was sure scared of the women at his side.

He looked at the couple on the bed they seemed peaceful but soon when they saw him they were anxious fear written all over their faces.

The doctor looked apologetically at them, and before he could say anything Stella went to Lindsay and kissed her forehead in support, and she left to give some privacy to the couple.

The doctor cough and began: "Mr Messer, Miss Monroe, I'm sorry for the delay we took to deliver you the health check on your unborn baby. The abdomen results didn't reveal any tenderness, the contractions stopped from themselves, the monitor didn't reveal any distress of the foetus, however" Lindsay and Danny hugged each other tightly they couldn't bear that, couldn't bear to wait "However… the bleeding, the bleeding reveals that the fall have hurt the foetus" Danny couldn't help the tears to fall and listening to Lindsay breathing, she was already sobbing. "Listen, nothing is sure right now, the ultrasound reveals that you're most probably suffering from partial placenta abruption, you need to relax and stay lying down until we can confirm the placenta is healed and that your baby isn't in danger "

Lindsay tried to stop crying while Danny took a tissue and dry his tears, he wasn't ashamed of them at all, he was so afraid about both Lindsay's health and his baby's. Then he looked at Lindsay and kissed her forehead. "We're gonna go through that Lindsay, if you are confined to bed rest for 2 months I will stay with you, at your side."

"Miss Monroe we will release you tomorrow morning, you should stay there, and we will keep you monitor until tomorrow morning."

Lindsay nodded and Danny thanked the doctor who left the couple.

Flashback's end

TBC?

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	10. No Doubts

_Sorry for the delay it took me literally ages to publish it when I had it for quiet some time in my files..._

_I wasn't sure it was the way I wanted to end it, but now, I feel like it is a proper ending! So I hope you won't feel like I rush to finish and update it as it has been long since I've put any on. _

_Hope you will enjoy :D and reviews to tell me your thoughs._

_Thanks To snowbear96 and Dine7184 who are at my side, the first betaing and advising, and both being constant friends sharing the common passion of D/L and writing._

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Danny was lying on the couch very tired after his day at work, Lindsay arrived rubbing her ever growing expectant belly, rubbing it. She stood next to Danny expectantly.

"Mmph" Danny groaned

"Come on Danny, make me a little room".

"Mmph" he only said opening one eye

"Hey I'm pregnant with YOUR children so please make me a little room," she said jokingly waiting for her husband to move.

"I'm tired Lindsay, this day was hell, how was yours… at home?" he said without noticing he was being mean to her.

"Oh mine was fantastic," she said sarcastically and left her husband on the couch after all he was being a complete jackass.

She went to her bed, and lay on it crying hugging her belly.

_How could he act like that__?__S__ure he__'__s tired but I'm pregnant__,__ 35 weeks pregnant__,__ with twins__!__ and he can't make me a little room on the couch._

She had notice that for the past couple of weeks he had been acting strangely and pushing her away. And soon the awful idea that he wanted to leave her and that he didn't wanted the babies struck her, which only made her cry harder.

Danny was still on the couch he was wondering why he behaved so badly towards her.

_Fuck I'm a real ass, I should go to her, what am I going to say__?__W__hy did I react like that__?__ I wanted her to be close to me so why rejected her, and why this oh so not smooth line where I was saying she shouldn't be tired because she was at home._

And suddenly he understood why he had been like that it's not after Lindsay he was angry but at his work because of it he was tired, had seen horrible thing all day long and hadn't be able to be with Lindsay.

_I'm a genius, yeah yeah but you're a pain in the ass for your pregnant wife, you let her leave and now you should go see her._

His though was soon, interrupted when he heard Lindsay's sobs.

He hurried toward the bedroom and found her crying on the bed holding her belly like she was in pain, he came and laid behind her, hugging her kissing her neck. He was soon crying with her, asking Lindsay to forgive him.

"Danny I need you so much" she said manoeuvring to face him " Hold me" she sobbed.

Danny did as he was told, telling Lindsay he was sorry that he needed her so much and that from now he was taking his vacation day to take care of her and of their unborn babies.

Lindsay was still crying and rubbing her belly while Danny hold her and was saying how much he loved her. "Lindsay look at me" he said she did so and Danny could she was still hurting.

"Baby please forgive me I know I was such an ass, I should have hug you, comfort you and not be an ass, I don't deserve you"

"Danny, I love you too, I forgive you. It hurts Danny" she said crying

"I'm so sorry it does, I won't do it again."

"No, Danny, my belly it hurts" she said.

Danny put his hand on hers, "are you having contractions?"

"I think so Danny, please bring me to the hospital, Danny It hurts"

Danny got up and carried Lindsay to the car and then drove to the hospital as soon as he could. Lindsay was still in pain and was having what they assumed were contractions, which were getting closer and more intense.

As soon as possible they reached the hospital, he entered with Lindsay in his arms screaming for a doctor. Lindsay's water had broken in the car and the pain was felt constant to her so that she couldn't discern each contraction from the next and she was worried about the babies' health. A doctor ran towards them and led them to an exam room soon.

"Danny, I'm scared." She said sweating and crying.

"Shh baby it's gonna be alright" he said doing his best to reassure her, he gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead "I'm here for you Lindsay."

The doctors did the ultrasound and monitored the babies' heart. They looked fine but labour was already advanced.

"Lindsay you are fully dilated and your water has broken. Don't be alarmed as the babies look fine but if things start to deteriorate we may have to do an emergency C-Section. For now we'll take you into the delivery room and monitor the babies on with ultrasound in case one of them moves into the breech position."

While the doctor was talking the nurses were taking care of Lindsay, moving her onto her side and then wheeling her to the room.

Once they arrived in the sterile room, the doctor examined Lindsay to see if any changes had occurred during their short journey. Lindsay was still in a lot of pain, and couldn't help the tears and whimpers that escaped her. Danny was at her side kissing her temple, "it's gonna be ok, sweetheart"

"Lindsay at the next contraction, you have to push." Lindsay nodded but when the pain and pressure began to increase fear struck her.

"I can't do it," she said crying

"Lindsay look at me, you can do it, you are strong enough." Danny said taking her hand.

"Now, Lindsay push"

Lindsay pushed as she was told, but the pain made her cry out and feel light headed. Danny realised that she might faint and wrapped supportive arms around her as the nurses attached an IV to hydrate her and injected her with painkillers.

"Good, Lindsay, continue like that" the doctor encouraged.

Danny was at her side holding her hand and pushed the sweat-dampened hair from her forehead. He kissed her forehead then another contraction hit Lindsay she screamed in pain and pushed while Danny was whispering words to her saying he was proud of her, that soon they will hold their babies and finally find out if the first born was a girl or boy.

Another push, fresh tears and a scream their first baby was born.

"Congratulations, it's a boy" the doctor said while the baby was crying his first breath

"the dad want to cut the cord?" he asked presenting the scissors to Danny who did as he was told and then he was holding his baby, there it was, he was dad, he gave the baby to Lindsay and she cried from happiness.

"He is so cute, look at him."

"I know, how are you feeling Linds" Danny asked putting away a strand of hair from her forehead.

"I'm fine, ready for the second" she said smiling

"You are incredible, Linds" he said kissing her temple and running a cautious finger across his baby's forehead who rested on Lindsay's breast.

Soon the baby was taken away from Lindsay to be cleaned up, wrapped, weighed and checked.

"I'm so proud of you, you have done great with baby number one, and you will do the same with our baby girl," he said kissing her temple

The doctor checked on Lindsay and told her that the second will soon follow and within few minutes the process started again. Lindsay summoned all her courage, thinking that soon it would all be over and that she would have her family that she would be able to hold onto her two little bundles of joy.

She didn't seem to notice her surrounding as she concentrated on pushing and breathing.

The scream of her baby girl relaxed her and once again Danny cut the cord, he was crying looking at the two women of his life and handed Lindsay her baby girl. All too soon the baby girl was taken away as her brother had been to be cleaned up and checked.

Danny and Lindsay looked at each other and they could see the happiness in each other eyes.

Lindsay was soon settled into a room and Danny remained with her. Danny kissed her forehead, he sat next to her in the bed and she rested her head on his chest.

"How are you, Lindsay?" he asked playing with her hair

"I'm sore, but happy, Danny, you saw them, they are soo beautiful, I just want to hold them." Lindsay said crying

"Hey honey they are coming with them soon you will be able to hold them all day long, don't cry" he said kissing her temple.

"But they were born too soon, Danny, what if they suffer complications?"

"Don't worry, twins are often born early. They are fine, strong and stubborn"

"like their father" Lindsay said looking up at Danny with her big chestnut eyes.

"and like their mother" Danny said kissing her forehead.

After a moment of blissful silence, in each other arms waiting for their newborns to be brought in, Lindsay tried to move and winced in pain.

"Lindsay you should lie back and rest" Danny said

"Danny we didn't have time to choose names." She said very worried

"And now we are going to choose, don't worry, I'm pretty sure we had already found some" Danny trying to reassure Lindsay stroking up and down her arms.

"Yeah I have some ideas you?"

"Same. Who will go first?" he said like he had on one of their "date" when they ate bugs together.

"You" she decided looking at him like a curious little girl.

"I like Barry, well it's just an idea if you don't like it ok" he said anxiously.

Lindsay made a weird face in response, she didn't know how to react but she sure didn't want to have her son called Barry. Suddenly Danny started to laugh she looked up at him and joined him laughing.

"I was joking baby, no way would we call our son something like that."

A knock on the door distracted the couple in their intense search of names.

"Come in," called out Danny from his place on the bed, then look sheepishly at Lindsay. The door opened and the doctor who had delivered their babies arrived pushing the small glass cots containing their babies. Danny took his baby girl and Lindsay held her arms out, enabling her to hold her newborn, she looked at her and saw that her baby was very tiny. Danny then took his son in his arms.

"Lindsay, Danny, your babies are born 5 weeks premature. It's common for twins they are in good health but they need to be kept warm and would benefit from some time in an incubator but I have something else to suggest to you. It is called the kangaroo method and involves the babies being always on your or your husband chest 24 hours a day long so the baby can experience skin- to- skin contact and warmth that the incubator will have produced otherwise.

Lindsay looked up at Danny and then at her babies, "yeah I want to do that" she says looking at her daughter then to her son in Danny's arm, she couldn't help it they were so tiny but so cute.

"Doctor, my babies are healthy, right?"

"Your babies are slightly premature but in pretty good health, their respiratory systems are fine, thanks to the medications we gave them to develop their lungs. Your daughter is weighting 5 pounds and 3 ounces and your son is weighting 5 pounds and 5 ounces, which is pretty good for twins. Now I'm going to leave you to enjoy some time with your babies, if you need anything just call a nurse."

"Thank you" Danny said watching his daughter over Lindsay's shoulder.

When the doctor left the room Danny returned his son to the cot and helped Lindsay to take her gown off while she was holding her daughter, when the nightgown was off she blushed and Danny kissed her forehead, she knew it was stupid to blush because he had seen all of her but her prudish personality couldn't help her. Then Danny and Lindsay with delicate fingers un-wrapped the cover in which their girl was in and Danny put the little girl on her chest. He took the baby's cover to cover their girl and to cover Lindsay breast allowing her a little privacy. Danny kissed her forehead and resume to holding his son, but this time his son was against his naked chest, he had opened his shirt to as the doc as told.

"Lindsay, you know we still haven't named them."

"Yeah, if you weren't a clown they would already have names," said Lindsay

"I have an idea for his middle name."

Danny looked up at Lindsay waiting for her to reveal it.

"Louie" she said quietly knowing it means a lot to Danny.

Immediately she saw his big blue eyes getting watery, he was trying to find the words to show how grateful he was he kissed her on the forehead then on the nose and then a peck on her lips, carefully not to harm their babies.

"Thanks so much" he said his voice shaking, Lindsay with her free hand, stroked his cheek.

"I… thanks … you know how much he meant to me, my brother… "He said looking at his son, "he protected me …"

"Shh, it's alright Danny let it go" she said the emotion getting to her too, a tear rolling free down her cheek.

"I love you three so much, you're my life Lindsay and our babies are so important. I swear on my life that I will protect you."

"I know Danny, I love you. Now you have to find his first name." She said looking at the small baby girl against her chest who was moving her fist near Lindsay's breast and who has a small pout on her lips like she was sucking her tongue."

"What do you think of… Noah?"

"I like that, Noah Louie Messer, it sounds good doesn't it?" she said looking at their son.

"Yes it is." He held his baby closer and kissed his head.

"And for our baby girl, I really like if we could call our daughter Kaylee it means pure."

"Sure, baby. Kaylee it is" he said grinning, then kissing his baby girl who was on Lindsay's breast. "And for her middle name?" she asked looking at Danny with her big chestnuts eyes.

"You want me to choose?" he asked looking at her, she only nodded " Beth?"

"Yeah, Kaylee Beth Messer" she said holding her little girl's hand in hers

"Linds I have to call everybody to tell them we are already parents and I have to go to the shop downstairs to buy these two, hats for their little heads and their own little blankets, can I leave you alone?"

"Yes don't worry, we will be fine." She said then gave him a slow and gentle kiss.

Danny left the room and made all the calls telling the team telling them about Noah and Kaylee. He then said to that their visit could wait few days because Lindsay was recovering from the delivery that the babies were a bit premature and that they needed sometime together. He then went to the shop and bought things for his babies, he knew that he would have to go home to go search the baby stuff, but not just now he wanted to stay with Lindsay longer. He choose a soft blue hat for his son and soft blue socks and a soft green for his daughter, because he knew Lindsay wasn't fond of pink; he bought two soft blankets and to keep his babies warm while their were on Lindsay's or his chest, he decided to bought some dummies for premmie.

When he returned to the room he saw Lindsay feeding their son and that a nurse was holding Kaylee who was tightly wrapped in her cover, he left all his purchases on the nearby chair, opened his shirt and took his daughter from the nurse. The nurse was distracted by Danny's god looks. Lindsay had to cough so the nurse understood she was staring and she left. Danny sat on the bed carefully no to disturb his son who had his eyes open and was gazing at his mom.

"Look Danny how he latched, it's incredible he is premature and can do it. It was hard at first he wasn't latching properly but I stopped him and now he is feeding properly." Lindsay ecstatic about how well her son was doing.

"Does it hurt?" Danny asked, looking in Lindsay's eyes, she smirked

"My my, are you worried about my breasts Mr Messer?" she said

"Sure. They are a valuable part of you." He laughed at her outraged face.

He kissed her on her nose and looked down at his son, when his daughter began to cry to, he took her and hold her in front of his face and kissed her on the forehead.

"Hey, welcome Kaylee Beth Messer, are you hungry? I think that you gonna have to wait a little because your brother is already on Mom's breast."

The little girl yawned and resumed crying, he rocked her softly watching her, as she was sucking on her tongue.

Lindsay felt that her son was full and that he wasn't sucking anymore, she gave her son to Danny and she took her daughter in her arms and feed her. Danny went to the chair with his son in his arms, and made him burp, then he put the new little hat on his head.

Lindsay looked over to Danny who was watching his son; she looked back to her daughter and then said with a quiet voice.

"I don't have doubts anymore" she said looking at Danny who smiled at her.

"You never should have, you're perfect… so no doubts"

"No doubts" she repeated.

**The END**

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